Cognitive Dissonance

So we know that cognitive dissonance is when an attitude and a behavior conflict and create mental dissonance. That makes as much sense as any explanation for the complexity of the thought/behavior relation. Where we run into trouble is that the human mind needs a way to reduce the dissonance because, lets face it, dissonance-- even when it's only mental-- is not fun to do.

Now, as with any dissonance, there are two options for easing it. Option A: Quit having kids. Simple, easy, cheap. Totally the better option in terms of maintaining a firm grasp on the reality of the situation. But... Then the species dies out. Well. So. That won't work. Hmm... Option B: Convince yourself that being a parent is totally worth it. The baby is cute, you'll get unconditional love, they won't be helpless forever, eventually they'll return the favor, etc, etc, ad nauseum.

So realistically, the only way to reduce the dissonance is to convince out brains that parenting doesn't suck as much as it actually does (or for the more fair minded, that the benefits are worth the downsides). As much as I hate the mom-petition of 'my kids are better than your kids' and 'you wouldn't understand, you're not a parent' it turns out that there's a reason they happen.

Apparently, parenting is one of the greatest acts of cognitive dissonance in which human beings engage.

Check it out!

Crazy right? (if you have time to kill, the series that this comes out of-- Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life-- is totally worth a look too).

So, we continue to perpetrate an act that has been proven to be detrimental to both physical and mental health. Why? Is the continuation of our species so important that it's worth the sacrifice of our mental status?

As a mom, I should say yes. After all, aren't I culpable of perpetrating the act myself? Yeah. I totally am. Twice no less. Perhaps that's the beauty of Cognitive Dissonance. That it makes it possible to find a way to manufacture happiness in spite of the fact that research indicates otherwise.

My children drive me mad on a daily basis and some days I want nothing more than to go back seven years and smack my younger self. But... And it's a big one: I still love my children with everything I have. So if my love for them is a product of Cognitive Dissonance and synthetic happiness, then I suppose I'm OK with that.